Parenting young children is a challenge. With vulnerability and not possessing the communication skills to
express what is happening and how they feel and what they may need, can be a frustrating time for both children and parents. How
then do we teach boundaries with people to our children and others involved in the
child’s life. Children are constantly constructing their own identities both in
relation to others outside the family and to those in the child’s life very early on.
How can we exclude some
while including others based on our own affinities as parents or do children create those boundaries with time?
Initially, the parents are responsible to make decisions for their young
children. From health decisions, to education to choosing who is around the
child on a consistent basis.
THE FIVE STEPS TO CREATING
BOUNDARIES WITH OTHERS FOR YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN
1)
Create boundaries to relationships outside the
immediate family (just because they are cousins and both their mothers are
sisters or neighbors the same age, they don’t have to be best friends)
2)
Understand who and why someone is around your child on a repetitive/
consistent basis
3)
Paying attention to how the child behaves,
responds and interactions in front of certain people (do they act out, seems
afraid, etc)
4)
Listen to
what the child says about people in their life at random moments. Children are
reminded of experiences out of the blue and might share something of concern.
Listen to them.
5)
Let the child talk about who is important to
them and why. Ask guiding questions, for an example: What games do you like to
play with…
Its important to let children know and understand that if someone is affecting them in a negative way, they have control over it. By constantly checking in with a child about the people in their life, parents will get a better idea of how the child feels about them and in turn how they are affected. In all, we all desire to keep our children safe and provide a healthy and secure environment with those that love them and will help them grow in a positive way.
Its important to let children know and understand that if someone is affecting them in a negative way, they have control over it. By constantly checking in with a child about the people in their life, parents will get a better idea of how the child feels about them and in turn how they are affected. In all, we all desire to keep our children safe and provide a healthy and secure environment with those that love them and will help them grow in a positive way.
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