Why Do Many Pregnant Woman and New Mothers Want to Leave Their Husbands?

We all know and understand pregnant women have hormones, however how do the hormones and state of mind during pregnancy affect their personal relationship with their spouse? This article is geared towards a wanted pregnancy from a couple who has been actively trying to conceive a child. An unplanned pregnancy may have different emotional and financial stress than a couple who has planned for such a journey. We can all plan, but at the end of the day, our plans can only serve as guidelines to how we would like events and circumstances to turn out. Emotions, Hormones, finances and lifestyle choices, take a greater impact on the plans we make for our current and future life and in turn can make pregnant woman more susceptible for wanting to leave their spouses.

From a scientific view, the moment a child is conceived in the womb, pregnant women experience a sudden increase in estrogen and progesterone as well as changes and the functionality of other hormones within a very short amount of time. These changes can greatly affect the mood and physical activity of the body. A pregnant woman may be seen laughing and excited about the pregnancy/child and she may also be seen weeping and upset about the same situation in the same time frame. The emotions are vast and overwhelming for the pregnant woman. If the husband shows any negative emotions, fears and thoughts about the baby, this will greatly affect the pregnant wife as she will begin to question his commitment, his loyalty and his affirmation that he still loves her unconditonally and will also love the child.

 

 Husbands should provide daily affirmations and embrace the excitement and positives of having a child even if you are scared out of your mind! Pregnant women jump to conclusions about their relationships very quickly and many times feel that they are alone in this pregnancy as the husband does not feel the symptoms of the pregnancy and may not  want to talk about it as much as the pregnant wife may like. Pregnant women know they are pregnant every moment and think about what needs to be done for the child’s arrival  (nesting) as well as what they want to accomplish beforehand. Their husbands may just look towards the due date and not much else. This mindset makes the pregnant woman question the commitment and support of the husband. They may feel they are not as committed to making a life together as a family and may  start thinking about a life potentially without the husband, for just mommy and baby. Now is the time to be more understanding on both sides.

 

Finances. Because pregnant woman tend to start earlier than their husbands in preparing for the birth and arrival of their child, "spending” for the baby may become an issue. This trying financial time for a couple, can include: buying a bigger home, reorganizing and refurnishing a home to accommodate baby and potential in laws who will be sleeping over, buying stuff for the baby, etc. Not only are pregnant woman dealing with a rush of hormones and pregnancy brain but also the endless ‘to-do’ list for when the baby comes.

 

 This will greatly affect the financial relationship of the couple if they do not have similar spending habits and mentality on what needs to be accomplished for the child and prioritize. If the husband shows resistance to the pregnant wife’s spending ‘on the baby’, she will once again question his commitment, loyalty and his love for her and child. In the mind of the pregnant woman, she needs to prepare sooner rather than later as she knows much care is needed for the baby once it arrives and would rather get the basics done before she is too heavy and pregnant to enjoy shopping for the baby and to enjoy the excitement together as husband and wife as they shop, buy and prepare for the baby. If she feels she has to ‘nag’ and beg and constantly ask to get this and that without the husband initiating it, she will become very upset and feel he doesn’t love her or baby and will question if he will be able to support them how she would like. She may feel that she can do it on her own and question why she even needs him and his support.

 

For the husband, prioritizing and being open about finances is very important for your pregnant wife and to constantly reassure her she is loved as is the baby and you will do your best to get what she would like and communicate with her about what it is she feels important for the child and show interest and excitement. At the end of the day, it is not a crib she wants, it is the husband’s unconditional love and understanding.

Lastly, it is lifestyle choices that can greatly affect a pregnant woman’s desire to want to leave her husband. If the couple was active and travelling and social before the pregnancy and now after, due to her energy level or general pregnancy uneasiness, the wife can not do the aforementioned activities with her husband, it can either bond the couple together even more as they choose to spend more time together at home or it can create a division and resent in the relationship. For an example, if the husband continues to be social and attend social events without his wife or travel or hang out more with his friends because the wife is “too pregnant’ to do anything like they used to do, can greatly affect the pregnant woman’s emotions and deeply question his commitment, desirability for the child and family together and start to question what type of father he will be, etc.

Husband and the pregnant wife shouldn’t have to spend every free moment together, however the husband needs to be sensitive and not leave her alone while he is being social. This extends to after the baby is born as well. Family unity is created when you spend time together, not apart. Busy work and school schedules already take us away from quality family time. Husbands have to spend time with their heavily pregnant wives and enjoy this time as it is very short and full of life.

questions?
dearnadia2016@gmail.com