The Sacrifices of The Paid Working Mother VS The UnPaid Working Mother

All mothers work. The type of work and the payback is not the same. Motherhood truly questions ones priorities in life, and the choices available to them. This article is mainly based on mothers who are the sole caregivers to their young children from choosing that option verses mothers who have other caregivers for their children based on choosing to pursue a paid position instead. This can be a family member, nanny or childcare facility that is the main caretaker. It is fair to acknowledge that different types of mothers and circumstances and situations exist. It is safe to say that most all mothers do sacrifice something for their newfound responsibility: Children. This article aims to point out the sacrifices of such mothers and does not hold one type of mother better than the other as all situations are different and based on varying priorities and circumstances.

Headlines were recently made when Chelsea Clinton missed her daughter’s Charlotte’s  first day of preschool. A milestone most parents look forward to and truly want to experience. A bittersweet moment of realizing the child is truly growing to be an independent member of society and a big turning page for development and experiences for both child and parents. Chelsea missed this important milestone due to her job and campaigning out of state for her mother Hilary Clinton who is running for the democratic presidential position of the United States.

This is the main and most important sacrifice that paid working mothers experience; time with their children and family and being present for momentous experiences especially during the early years and development of their child. This sacrifice has its disadvantages as the relationship between mother and child can be affected negatively with time and the distance more severe. Children do remember and know who is there for them. Yes, they may come to understand the ‘why’ and may even appreciate their outside working mother with time, however, relationships may be strained or  feeling abandoned by the most important person in a child’s life; their mother.

Times have changed and the role of the mother has become diversified and even has become more challenging than before, as responsibilities have increased, careers are more time consuming and demanding and the financial means to lead a comfortable life, i.e home in a safe and convenient location, good schooling, keeping up with technological advancements via ipads, iphone, vacations and travel and family time.

Headlines have also been made of mothers who have chosen to be the sole caretakers of their children and family and the hardships they face on a daily basis. From criticisms of “what do you do all day” to “how will you pay your grad school loan and what good did it do you if you’re not earning money now?” to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by daily caretaking and chores and home responsibilities. How many paying jobs require to be up every two hours of the night, then be awake all day, entertaining, feeding, changing and teaching another human being (s) whilst doing laundry (did anyone mention the several steps that takes? The gathering of the dirty clothes (going from room to room, up and down stairs), the separating (the hand wash pile, dry cleaning and normal wash) and putting away. Attending doctor’s appointment,  the grocery store, the post office, the dry cleaners and only to come back and cook dinner and make sure everyone is cleaned, fed, napped, entertained, minds educated, etc.

The endless daily activities always keep a nonpaying mother on her toes. Yes, they work and they have sacrificed their careers and ignore the criticisms of being the sole care taker of their children, because they get what they look forward to everyday: Time with their children. Being there physically and emotionally to care for what they brought into the world. Creating secure and confident children and taking the responsibility of being parents seriously and wholeheartedly. Creating citizens of the world that will be productive and appreciative. This takes selflessness, as a mother’s own needs and wants are placed on hold as they take control and care of a new chapter in their life : raising a family.

 At the end of each day and at the end of each year, we look back on our lives and how we’ve spent the time and how we feel about it. Money can be produced but time can not. We can not buy more time. Time is limited. So, how will you spend your time?

Questions?
Email : Dearnadia2016@gmail.com

Can we control Aging and Time?

When should we worry about Aging and Time?

From the moment a women is pregnant, the age questions begin and almost become an obsession. It starts with weeks when pregnant and become months once the baby is born and soon become years in a very short amount of time.  The obsession with age seems most apparent during child bearing years for women and when men become fathers. Parents compare their children to other children based on age in size and life skills, from language, intellect to self care and family life. We become obsessed with the notion of what is expected and accepted by certain age stages in life. It becomes persistent as one begins to crave normalcy and acceptance within a society or groups of communities.

The process of aging is experienced by everyone, young and old. Age and time can not be controlled. Is it the unescapable nature of aging that have encouraged our obsession with it? Chemists, dermatologists and beauty seekers have made professions by trying to create the miracle creams, using technology and nature to reverse aging, yet the body always ages within its own capability internally, even if the external body and face don’t show signs of aging. Aging in adulthood, is usually evaluated by comparing ourselves physically, socially, financially at different life stages.

Age in essence becomes an obsession with time. How much time do we have left? Is packing every hour with activities the best use of time? Is waiting around for events and experiences to happen to us the best way to spend our time? Ideally, it is the quality of the time spent that adds value and direction to our lives. Quantity of experiences just keeps us busy without a greater goal or direction.

Age helps to acknowledge the birth and death of living things and people close to us. We can choose to overlook the number but it is difficult to ignore and avoid the natural loss of physical strength that comes with aging. It seems most of us set a timeline for ourselves with important life events and moments we hope to experience based on our frame of reference, our families and those who we grew up with, to societal expectations and the media. The media has tried to unify age appropriate experiences and the expectation of what is next. It is this expectation of knowing what to expect next that gives people a safety net and meaning to their lives, whilst for others they seek a different way of life based on their unique life experiences, wants and needs.

Witnessing life makes one think of death and accepting death as a guarantee that will happen. What age should we die? What age should birth be given?  At what age should we earn money? What age is the right age? Medical experts will want to evaluate the physical self while psychologists evaluate the mental self. Yet both are affected with age. It is only up to ourselves to determine what is the right way to live our life with taking into consideration the needs of others. After all, we do live together