Bi-Cultural Marriage in Today’s International society: What should do we prioritize?

What role does language play in a bicultural marriage?

When considering a potential partner for marriage, there are many factors that are evaluated. Depending on each person and life priorities, we place different degrees of importance in each area of our life. For some, being of a certain race or religion is a must, while for others it maybe a financial or social factor. From education and career to hobbies and interests can be used to predict a good match for life.

Prioritizing the aforementioned factors have varying level of importance depending on historical times including economic changes and educational freedom to technological advances in communication and travel make it easier to meet different people from around the world. This exposure to the world has created a larger society where you have more people to choose from and are not held to the same criteria  in choosing a mate as previous generations have. We can use our experiences, our wants and needs and personal chemistry in choosing the right person to marry. Now more than ever, intercultural marriages are happening everywhere in the world, with the largest majority in the US. This international exposure gained from easier communication and travel has brought people together from all corners of the earth regardless of their upbringing or culture. As much as diversity can have positive effects, it can also create some challenges within the marriage and the life of the individuals as well as raising children in a bicultural household, family and society.

One of the main issues in bi-culture marriage and families is the notion of language. It is through language that we formulate our personal and group identities. It is communication that lets us get to know each other so that we may get to understand one another. Language gives us our culture. Knowing and understanding the language of the partner’s mother tongue can illustrate a possibility in truly knowing and understanding the mate and their former and present self, family and larger cultural group.

It is very important to acknowledge and understand the larger cultural group as a whole. The beliefs, traditions and what is important to members on a daily basis. Certain cultural traits that are practiced and expected from members of the group should also be considered and practiced when interacting with the group as you are part of them through association by sharing your life with their member.

 Appreciating the language and cultural background of the spouse can create an affinity in wanting to share their culture in the best manner possible even when language is an issue, is inviting one in into their cultural society through family and friends. To accept that and show appreciation when the invitation is extended  as  that membership is only exclusively for that group.

Another issue that can arise in a bicultural marriage is being exposed to extremely different lifestyles. This can present an issue as past experiences influence our current decisions and future aspirations and not having similar experiences or cultural backgrounds can create misunderstandings about how one operates in their cognitive thinking. For some, this opposite way of living is what initially attracted them to one another. Although overtime, much communication has to take place to create understanding of how they chose to live and decide how to raise their children when creating families as both parents will have very different ideas depending on their own upbringing. From celebrating holidays to valuing certain cultural traits. For an example in the Arab culture, showing great hospitality to guests in their home, is a cultural trait that is greatly valued and practiced in daily life.

Raising children in a  bi-cultural home is an unique journey in which both parents and cultural traditions will be questioned and prioritized based on varying situations and what each partner believes they want to continue and practice. It can create challenges, however, with the availability of the internet and easily accessible resources in teaching language and traveling to the country of origin will make a difference in what the children chose themselves. Like any parent and spouse, they must choose what they believe will benefit them  the most, not cause them harm, protect them and make them successful while respecting those around them, before them and those that will come in the future.

 

 

Bi-Cultural Marriage in Today’s International society: What should do we prioritize?

What role does language play in a bicultural marriage?

When considering a potential partner for marriage, there are many factors that are evaluated. Depending on each person and life priorities, we place different degrees of importance in each area of our life. For some, being of a certain race or religion is a must, while for others it maybe a financial or social factor. From education and career to hobbies and interests can be used to predict a good match for life.

Prioritizing the aforementioned factors have varying level of importance depending on historical times including economic changes and educational freedom to technological advances in communication and travel make it easier to meet different people from around the world. This exposure to the world has created a larger society where you have more people to choose from and are not held to the same criteria  in choosing a mate as previous generations have. We can use our experiences, our wants and needs and personal chemistry in choosing the right person to marry. Now more than ever, intercultural marriages are happening everywhere in the world, with the largest majority in the US. This international exposure gained from easier communication and travel has brought people together from all corners of the earth regardless of their upbringing or culture. As much as diversity can have positive effects, it can also create some challenges within the marriage and the life of the individuals as well as raising children in a bicultural household, family and society.

One of the main issues in bi-culture marriage and families is the notion of language. It is through language that we formulate our personal and group identities. It is communication that lets us get to know each other so that we may get to understand one another. Language gives us our culture. Knowing and understanding the language of the partner’s mother tongue can illustrate a possibility in truly knowing and understanding the mate and their former and present self, family and larger cultural group.

It is very important to acknowledge and understand the larger cultural group as a whole. The beliefs, traditions and what is important to members on a daily basis. Certain cultural traits that are practiced and expected from members of the group should also be considered and practiced when interacting with the group as you are part of them through association by sharing your life with their member.

 Appreciating the language and cultural background of the spouse can create an affinity in wanting to share their culture in the best manner possible even when language is an issue, is inviting one in into their cultural society through family and friends. To accept that and show appreciation when the invitation is extended  as  that membership is only exclusively for that group.

Another issue that can arise in a bicultural marriage is being exposed to extremely different lifestyles. This can present an issue as past experiences influence our current decisions and future aspirations and not having similar experiences or cultural backgrounds can create misunderstandings about how one operates in their cognitive thinking. For some, this opposite way of living is what initially attracted them to one another. Although overtime, much communication has to take place to create understanding of how they chose to live and decide how to raise their children when creating families as both parents will have very different ideas depending on their own upbringing. From celebrating holidays to valuing certain cultural traits. For an example in the Arab culture, showing great hospitality to guests in their home, is a cultural trait that is greatly valued and practiced in daily life.

Raising children in a  bi-cultural home is an unique journey in which both parents and cultural traditions will be questioned and prioritized based on varying situations and what each partner believes they want to continue and practice. It can create challenges, however, with the availability of the internet and easily accessible resources in teaching language and traveling to the country of origin will make a difference in what the children chose themselves. Like any parent and spouse, they must choose what they believe will benefit them  the most, not cause them harm, protect them and make them successful while respecting those around them, before them and those that will come in the future.

 

 

International Lifestyle: Raising kids in a different culture in an advanced technological time

How do we teach a  culture we are only selectively apart of? Do we compartmentalize different cultural practices based on current lifestyle?

Experts in fields dealing with children development, where it be an pediatrician, school teacher or their families, will mostly likely agree that teaching children more than one language is beneficial to their brain development, social interaction and academic achievement. One of the main reasons is the capability to understand and transfer information at a higher and faster rate then when  language translation does not take place. The ability to fully understand and comprehend languages more than one, is the struggle for parents in choosing the culture associated with each language to teach their children.

Language experts will agree that language is culture and a culture has its own language. For new parents, there are many monumental stages for their first child that are looked forward to and celebrated. One of them is a baby’s first word(s). For parents who are bi-cultural and bi-lingual, which language becomes more significant than the other to teach that child? Being able to speak and comprehend two cultures and languages was a necessity amongst children of immigrants, but what about the second generation in the 21^st century? With the availability of technologies and easy travel to different cultures and countries, the term “culture” has become more fluid and versatile as groups have become more unified and languages has had to make cultural adjustments to describe daily life. The an example the word IPAD is the same in Arabic, English and Chinese.

 For children of immigrants, the process was almost simple: English outside, different language inside (mostly likely one language of both parents). These first generation children were distinctly aware of the differences of their home language and English, which enabled them to clarify differences when it came to cultural beliefs and practices. Immigrant from non-developed countries or countries of war, were much well versed in their home culture  and language as some had been exposed to the full culture and language  at one time or another during their formative years. This full emergence has aided in being able to separate and create different identities as appropriate and welcomed in each culture. Secondly, children of immigrants had to reply on social interaction and constantly identifying with both cultures through their daily life. For an example, many of the aforementioned children translated for family members, especially their parents for their own schooling purposes, shopping, traveling and being a contributing member of their new communities to be able to strengthen their new identity. Whilst children today have limited social interaction to develop both identities, with the creation of enticing apps and online games to expose and infiltrate their time and how its spent. People interaction has decreased whist technological interaction has increased. This is a challenge in language and culture learning and teaching for parents trying to incorporate dual languages and cultures whist living in the US.

 For second generation children living in the united States with parents who came at here at a very young age (0-15 years old), have a much more complex set of challenges in creating and maintaining a cultural and language identity as they have never experienced a full immersion or a community.  If the aforementioned parents do not solidify their own bi-cultural and language identities, how then can they pass on the same identities to those who may never have been fully emergence such a way of life, but has only experienced snippets of their parents life . Take the following family as an example of the complexity of language and culture teaching to children exposed to another culture at the same time and how each new generation point of reference has changed.

A traditional family from Afghanistan has been displaced due to war and the father, mother and three young children, all under-fives years old, have settled in Seattle Washington. The father and mother don’t speak English and only their native language of Pashto. Their children have only been exposed to the culture and language in Afghanistan, like their parents. Upon arrival, the children slowly start to attend primary school and within a few years, they are fully fluent in English and serve as guides and translators for their parents who are mostly home bound or serve in local immigrant communities in positions where little or no English is required. In essence with time, the children start to teach their parents the culture and language. The children become the teachers, but only have to teach one language and culture: English. They quickly become bi-lingo and bi-cultural, however their parents still hold the dominate afghan identity and language and will remain as the point of reference for all teaching that is to come with being an Afghan parent. Now that the children have grown and some have never seen or visited their home country again, they have created lives in their new home, whilst trying to keep both identities as they embark on the journey of creating their own families. The have successfully learned to compartmentalize cultural significances.

This second generation from afghan-American parents, have challenges and rewards ahead of them as they try to understand the powerfulness of knowing and understanding both cultures and languages and not just the most convenient one for the time being. English and the American culture has become their reference point as that is what they know and the society they live in. Sure, in the home different language can be taught and culture practiced, however it can no longer be done in isolation, when outside the doorsteps, a different language and culture await. Bi-cultural parents have an interesting task of integrating both cultures and languages and unlike them, it is they who has to teach it, not their children as they had done for their own parents. The challenge is creating an environment that teaches and uses both languages. The reward is not having to choose one culture over the other, as technology has brought cultures into our living room, but having different sets of experiences, perspectives and understanding of people in general. Being more mindful and aware of differences and bridging the gap between them to acknowledge our similarities. These second generation of children will hopefully use technology to create an even more unified world with their unique set of skills that each language and culture have given them.